Helping a Friend in Need

A person who is grieving the loss of a loved one is a friend in need of your caring and understanding. This is what friendship is all about.

Listed are some suggestions on what you can do to help.

• Attend the funeral of your friend’s loved one. Being at the funeral emphasizes to your friend that your friendship is important and you will be there for them to call on.
• Offer to listen. Tell the bereaved person, “I can’t relate to what you’re going through, but if you want to talk, I’m here to listen.” Someone who is grieving needs to talk about his or her emotions.
• Don’t tell him or her to “Get over it.” Or explain how “death is a part of life” People differ in the amount of time it takes to overcome a loss. There is s a fine line between being supportive an being insensitive. Let the person know you are there to support them, not judge. Survivors need to talk about their loved ones for months, sometimes, years. Healing is not an overnight process.
• It’s okay to cry.
• Laughter heals. One of the most important things your can do is to help your friend focus. On the good memories and fun times that live on.
• A hug or squeeze of the hand goes a long way toward providing lasting comfort.
• Send a letter recalling all the great times you have shared together.
• Make a memorial contribution to their favorite charity.
• Stay in touch. Call them often on the phone and let them know you have not forgotten them.
• Be the friend you were before. Take over a meal. Invite your friend to your home. Go out to lunch, dinner or shopping. Offer to take the kids for a night. See a movie together.
• Don’t wait to be asked. Show that you care in whatever way is comfortable for you. This is what friendship is all about.